Cozy Moonchild Blog

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Have you ever had a friend who felt more like a rival? Not openly, not in an obvious way, but in the small moments—the backhanded compliments, the subtle dismissals, the feeling that your success makes them uncomfortable.

I’ve always been wary of “friend-enemies,” those people who smile in your face while secretly keeping score. It’s not an obvious competition, at least not at first. It might even feel like support, like encouragement laced with just enough doubt to make you question yourself. “Oh, that’s cool! I mean, I was thinking of doing something similar, but you beat me to it.” Or, “You’re really lucky things worked out for you like that.”

Luck. Beat them to it. As if your journey isn’t your own, as if your progress is somehow an obstacle to theirs.

For a long time, I brushed it off. Told myself I was overthinking. But energy never lies. There’s a shift in the air when your wins start to stack up, when you begin stepping fully into yourself. The congratulations feel a little forced, the conversations more strained. And then, you realize—this person isn’t walking with you. They’re running their own race, glancing at your lane, hoping you TRIP.

It’s unsettling to find out someone close to you sees you as competition. Friendship, to me, has always been about support, about holding space for each other without the need to compare or diminish. But not everyone operates that way. Some friendships only feel safe when you’re on the same level—or beneath them.

I used to take it personally, but now I see it for what it is: a reflection of their own fears and insecurities. People who are truly at peace with themselves don’t see others as a threat. They know there’s enough room for everyone to shine.

If you’ve ever dealt with this, you know how draining it can be. The mental gymnastics of trying to figure out if you’re imagining things, the effort of downplaying your own joy to keep the peace—it’s exhausting. And unnecessary.

I’ve learned that real friendships don’t make you feel small. They don’t come with hidden resentment or unspoken competition. A true friend celebrates with you, not against you.

So here’s my reminder to you (and to myself): You don’t have to shrink to keep certain people comfortable. Not everyone is meant to go the whole way with you. And that’s okay.

With love and light,

Jojo

Cozy Moonchild✨🌙